Can't Explain the Unexplained

Where do I start really...?

I have Loso's Way playing, "I Miss My Love", it's fitting for how I feel right now. How many times can you start over before you're all out of tries...before you're out of strength? At some point, your heart stops breaking and just bleeds out. You give up trying, because trying hasn't gotten you anywhere. As songs switch and "Disappear" by Beyonce' plays, the feeling becomes more certain. What did I know then, that I don't know now?

To begin with, we never listen to our "gut feeling". As women we often think too much with our hearts and silence our minds in clouds of bliss. That is, until that bliss turns into lonely nights and crying eyes. I guess, I can't really blame him for what happened (I mean I could) but that wouldn't teach me anything. No matter what happens in life and love, we must learn to heal our wounds and move on. Which brings me back to the idea of bleeding out. I've become so open to my emotions that I'm raw to even the slightest feeling. There's next to nothing there anymore, I've heard people use the term "emotionally raped" and although I find it to be a very strong way to put it, I can truthfully relate to that feeling. I have nothing else to give to you.

By nature, I'm a dreamer...I keep this idea in my head that allows me to look at things more smoothly. Yet, as we are all aware, reality is harsh, and waking up to a heavy heart will take a toll on you. Sometimes, I feel that my only escape is through the creativity of my mind---> so I blog. My other option is sleep. I haven't grown too keen to the option of actually tackling this issue head on yet. Truthfully, I really don't even know if I'm prepared to handle it.

It's in the past...and maybe it should stay there...but I keep revisiting old feelings like they'll make me feel new again.