How could he be so heartless.....??

So, I told myself...it's okay, you'll get over it. Well truth is, it's now weeks even months later, and I'm not really over it. I'm sure you may be wondering, wtf I'm talking about. Wellllll....I was talking to a guy who was a different kind of guy for me (i.e. not like the others) and I don't say that in the loose term that people use when they don't know what else to say about someone. He really was very different than any other guy I had been with before. Possibly, because he was older, more established and had accomplished things in his life. I was attracted to his tenacity, his past, his story, his passions...HIM. Just for backgrounds' sake, I'm a hopeless romantic and I believe that love is the strongest emotion one can have...except when that love turns into hate (but thats another blog topic altogther) Anyway, we talked for over a year, everything was good. Granted any relationship of any sort will have its ups & downs...we were no different. BUT then one day...I guess I said something that he didn't like...and he disappeared, literally.


Normally, under any other circumstances I probably wouldn't have cared, because I too have pulled the "now you see me, now you don't" on a couple of guys...but NOT after I've spent a frickin' year and half with them. What.the.eff, yo??!! Was I not worth an explaination to you? Did I do something so wrong that you just felt it necessary to see me Monday and forget me by Wednesday?? That hurt me to my core...I didn't cry tho. Not because "I'm too strong to cry" but because honestly, I think I saw it coming. Somewhere during that time, I knew he would eff me over, but you never listen to that little voice in your head...which sucks because that voice knows wtf its talking about lol

I will say this though, he kinda ruined my faith in men. No, I don't think all men are dogs, no I don't think they are all liars and cheaters...but I do think we're all human and none of us are above doing someone dirty. That very thought petrifies me. I want to love, I want to make breakfast in the morning, I want fix soup when he's sick, encourage him when he's down, support his endeavors, share his happiness, be everything to him that I would want a man to be to me. Guess it's just not my time. All I know is, that time better hurry up before I become a bitterfaced b*tch. lol (not really) I'm still a lover...i guess.


Yea, I needed to get that off my heart. It's been suppressed for months now.