Realizing Dreams

Sooo...today I had to do a "mock interview" for my Career and Employment Strategies class. I usually don't get nervous about interviews because well...when you're nervous, you mess things up. So, knowing that, I just try to stay calm and stay focused on what I need to do.

Today...was a tad bit different. It's weird because, this interview wasn't even for a real position. It was just one of, I don't know how many, practice interviews that business students have to do. Yet, I was nervous. The good thing though, is that I completely nailed it. Minus the fact that he interviewer said I should have come in, in a business suit and had a portfolio (-_-) you can't win em all i guess. But aside from that, he said I did wonderfully well, and if it were for an actual position, I would be hired! NICE!

Anywho. I said all that to say this...work hard, do the little things now, and you'll realize your dreams before you know it!

Yup!

Gone With the Wind

He comes....He cums....and He's gone....



Your feelings will fuck you. You lay your guard down and before you know it, your emotional innocence has been violated. You feel ashamed, like you knew better, like you should've noticed the signs. Hindsight is 20/20...and you can't go back in time to change the date you two met, so you just deal with the embarrassment of your misjudgements.

I don't blame him. Mostly, because I knew (some) of the story beforehand. I do blame myself for letting go and believing everything I'm told. No matter what anyone says, you can't ignore what's written...especially if it's a tattoo.

I don't like complicated situations. I tend to run away from them, but for some reason...I feel like I can't just leave it alone like my mind is telling me. Not because I'm "so deep in love", because that's not it. But I really felt like I had a friend and in a sense, a lover in him. Truthfully, I don't want to miss that. But dammit, if I didn't let myself get fkd over. SMH!

Welcome Back

Well...he was gone for awhile.

I cried, I wondered, I got mad, I was frustrated, I was confused, I was hurt and I got over it. Then, like clear pure clockwork...he bounces back in.

I'll be the first to say, I don't rekindle old flames. Once you're out my life, you're gone. Even if we can still maintain a friendship, I usually close off the emotional side and it becomes platonic afterward. In this case, however, this man means something to me. Something that even I can't explain, because I don't want to feel this way about anyone. I don't want to feel like someone has a hold of me...but in his own little way he does. I've missed so much about him, and I've tried to forget all of those things. Truth is, you can't forget what makes you smile and what brings you happiness. It wasn't all good, but I was happy.

I'm not worried about making false moves...I'm not gonna apologize for how I feel anymore. He owns a part of my heart and that is what it is. I've learned to accept it...

So...I've been thinking..

We spend our whole lives in search of...something.



We desire so much. We want love, happiness, friendships, success, satisfaction, the list is never-ending. In looking for all of this, and searching for everything, we lose sight of what's really important.

I feel like I've been working toward some sort of goal...and I have yet to find it. Some days I just wish things were simpler. That life was easier. Maybe that's what I'm searching for...

My Sleeve is Bleeding

Yea...I wear my heart on my sleeve...

My heart is big and I leave it open to all. I'm sure you may think that's a recipe for disaster and lately it has been, but even in the midst of it not being the smartest way to live, I can't have it any other way. I want to give my all. Open to pain or whatever it may be, I don't plan to change. I'm leaving myself open, because that's how you live. That's how you learn. Don't cut off the world because one person...or even five people hurt you.

Love on...and love hard!

JayHOVA!

Clearly...you know I'm talking about Jay-Z.

I've been a fan of Jay-Z for a while. Maybe not as long as some of you super loyal fanatical fans lol, but I remember the first rap album I bought was Jay's In My Lifetime...Vol. 1 & I've loved his music since then. Of course, I had to go back and do my history and listen to Reasonable Doubt so that I could get the full effect of his sound and message. In my opinion, he's defintely the greatest who's doing it...and arguably the greatest that EVER did it. Punchlines? Lil' Wayne might have that, but Jay's on something different...and I can't even say it's a reinvention, because he hasn't changed...just improved.

Anywho, I'm super excited about The Blueprint 3...so many great tracks,

"Already Home" feat. Kid Cudi
"Real as it Gets" feat. Young Jeezy (favorite)
"Empire State of Mind" feat. Alicia Keys (another favorite)

And...I'll be going to see him in concert! *bliss* lol

Can We Say Slackin'??

Ahh, kiddos...

I've been away for a little bit. Mostly, because school recently started and seeing as how it's my senior year...it's definitely super-grind mode. The other reasons for my lack of blogging is someone is helping me re-do my space. You can think of it as a mini-makeover. So, whenever that's done, you'll see the new layout. Hopefully, coming sooner than later lol. And of course, I've just been a tad lazy too, studying all day and working all night is nothing short of tiresome. Do not fret, ladies and gents. There's still more in my head worth blogging about and you best believe I have some stories to tell. Soooo, I'll leave you with this thought. Don't make competition with people who are beneath you...(there's a reason why I say that, and I'll let you know on the next blog) Stay tuned.

I {love} you all!!!!